I am SO headed there. I aspire to be there. Dream of it.

I am not an organized person by nature. Blame it on the right-brain artistic personality. Or just call me a slob. Whatever. It’s sad, but true.

From about 13 years old my book shelf has been graced by a plaque given to me by my mother. It reads :

Bless this mess.

Oh yes.

That’s me.

Funny thing is, I grew up in a tidy home. Both my parents take a lot of pride and care in keeping their home. I always thought my mum was a bit uptight, frankly. I saw myself as more of a don’t worry be happy kind of gal. The sky wouldn’t fall if the vacuuming didn’t get done on time.

Now, two years into my housewife adventures, I’m starting to understand the tendency of mothers everywhere to lean towards an anal-retentive nature. I can now see that neurosis for what it is:

Self-preservation.

Now, instead of viewing these women with confusion of a vague sense of pity, I have only awe and adoration. How do they do it??

My quest for organization is an uphill battle. It doesn’t come naturally.

I am scouring every resource and tip and trick I can find to get myself sorted out. I’ve aggressively purged my entire home. Every day I look for more crap to pitch. I’m a sorting and filing and colour-coding machine. I’m a maniac with a label-maker.

I’ve accepted my day planner back into my life, and am actually using it. I am one step away from posting my daily schedule on the fridge in huge, elementary school teacher script, lest anyone even think about offending my carefully planned day.

I am obsessively researching a new and amazing discovery – the home keeping binder. Who even knew such things existed?? Not me.

Thank God for Pinterest.

My poor husband doesn’t know which way is up.

I see myself as being in this glorious transition from scrubby, absent-minded housewife to some modern, snappier version of June Cleaver.

From the outside, I’m pretty sure it just looks like more chaos. Or pure, straight-up crazy.

If June was bi-polar, that would be me. My intentions are good, my goals pure and honourable, but I’m pretty sure I miss as much as I hit. Now the misses bother me more. Before I wouldn’t have even noticed.

Some days you just can’t win for losing.

However. In the midst of it all, I’m pretty sure I’m making some forward motion.

My house has been clean and *gasp* STAYED CLEAN for nearly two months now. No descending into complete and utter chaos. Every morning that I wake up to a clean kitchen I want to cry. How can this be my home?

I can’t believe all the extra time I have on my hands, that once would have been lost to the clutter like my keys. I’m actually having time to play with my son AND write AND work. Balance??? What?

At the end of the day, I’m determined to persevere. Every night that I’d rather go to bed instead of doing yet another load of laundry I remind myself that I deserve this. I deserve a calm, clean home and the sanity that comes with it.

Eventually, what seems such a momentous task now will become habit over time. I hope, that like many Mamas before me, I’ll one day be able to do it with my eyes closed, and finally get some sleep!